It has become fairly apparent that I didn’t follow through with my week of writing and not eating sugar. I didn’t finish, and I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t and haven’t been writing.
This embarrassment comes from this feeling of obligation and this feeling of living up to an expectation I have for myself that isn’t really real.
I’m also embarassed because I want what other people have. I want to be skinny, I want to have a family, I want money, and to be able to support myself on my own, by myself. Either way, dreaming of what other people have, prevents me from taking care of myself right now.
Jealousy, only perpetuates that vibrant verbal cycle in our brain.